Skip to main content

Revenge is like...

A great philosopher of our time once said, 
Revenge is like peeing in your pants. Yeah, at first it feels warm and fuzzy but at the end, you only feel cold and wet. - Boss Baby 
This isn't something people want to hear but making them pay won't help you heal. Don't get me wrong, I applaud those who seek justice. If its a case of sexual abuse you technically help by making the person who hurt you accountable to a justice system. In turn, protecting the next person that would've been on the after you. So please do not misunderstand this blog post. 

I'm not concerned with the person who hurt you. I'm concerned with you, the person lugging around pain. Let me share a few stories. 

Karyn lost her virginity at 19 to her high school sweetheart. After high school he thought it best to break up for the college years, you know... so they can explore and find themselves. Karyn can't forgive him, and cyberstalks his travels and tells anyone who will listen to how she was hurt by him. She's still single harping on the same story. 

Crystal lost her virginity to her high school sweetheart. He did the same and she responded the same for a little while. One day she decided to let it go and forgive him for the heartache it caused. Today Crystal is happily married with a family of her own and can't stop talking about how much she loves her family. 

Lucy was eight years old when she was sexually abused. She went to her mom and her mom sought justice. Lucy is now 48 years old and struggles with pride, control, and anxiety. All of it rooting back to her childhood traumas and believes that the person who hurt her is not entitled to her forgiveness. Meanwhile, the person who hurt her is clueless about what Lucy feels about them and is simply living life. 

Bella was eight years old when she was sexually abused. She was too scared to tell anyone. By the time she gained the courage to speak, too much time had passed and justice was sadly not an option for her. It made her angry and bitter till one day she faced the person who hurt her and told them she forgives them. She walked away free, with love in her heart, liberated from what gripped her into the bondage of depression. 

Just a side note, the person who hurt Bella did end up paying but not by Bella's hand. 
When she told me her story I couldn't help but think of Romans 12: 19
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.
But here is the hardest part to grasp, the person who hurt you needs healing too. And just so it's clear, God loves them too. 

You heard the popular saying, "hurt people hurt people". It's a vicious cycle, and if you have been hurt chances are you hurt others too. We just get so consumed with ourselves everyone else is justified collateral damage. But the truth is we sin and hurt people too and beg God to forgive us yet find it so hard to forgive others. 

God was serious when he said Love your enemies. I know its not the popular opinion but God isn't concerned with the popularity he's concerned with your soul. Have you read Matthew 5 lately: 

Love for Enemies

43 You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 

Pretty clear, and I know its easier said than done. After all, we are raised in a world where you're taught early to make people pay. But you're accountable for what you know. I know its a process, respect the process, give it the time, pray to God for strength. Because this is not impossible and it works. You want to heal, pray for your enemy and forgive them. It's freeing. I promise. 

Just today I heard someone say, 
some people love to be the victim and they don't even know they love it.

Do you love it? 

Let's walk into 2020 without the baggage of revenge. God will handle it for you, don't worry. 

-Art of me


Popular posts from this blog

Three steps to Purity- By the Recycled Virgin

So… I looked up the word recycle, and this is what I found. Return (material) to a previous stage in a cyclic process Maybe Recycled virgin isn’t the best name, but in reality looking back that’s exactly what was happening.
I was a single mom, abandoned to raise her kids alone, carrying trauma, and still fighting to attain her dreams. What were those dream? I am still trying to figure that out. But writing would surely be one of them. Sadly I put it on the back burner more often then I should. But I digress, let’s go back to recycle.
I wanted to offer something that I thought you might want to revisit if you’re on this journey of purity. And when I say purity, I mean purity of mind, body and soul. Cause let’s face it if you don’t take control of your thoughts your thoughts will take over and can literally kill you. Its more than just sex, lust and all that good stuff we are holding out for, for our husbands. It’s about our minds, our thoughts. So I thought I share a few things I did to…

To the mom of a molested child

Dear Mom, I don't know how to say this to you. I know your hurting and every time I see you cry I feel like its my fault. Every time someone mentions that your going through a hard time, I feel like its my fault. When you cry in the shower, I feel like its my fault. I know your going through something, but this didn't happen to you, it happened to me. I want to be there for you, and I want to help you get through this, but my innocence was taken not yours. I am trying to find myself in all of this, I can't help you. So if I get quiet, if I stay distant, its because I am trying to heal, and I can't heal helping you. I need you to help me. You can't get mad at me, your not allowed. My world fell apart as a child who needs and rely's on your wisdom and guidance to get through this, but if your going to fall apart and make me feel like your pain is my fault than I can't go to you.  I will look somewhere else.  - signed the art of me to scared to say it
Very few…

He waited for me to get divorced

I sat at the court house recently watching a judge pound the gavel on the table saying, “Marriage dissolved good luck to you…. Next case”
I was there to support a friend because I remember what it was like. I remember everyone being so happy that I was finally divorcing, all except me. I felt like a failure and my kids were hurting. I wanted to mourn my marriage and they wanted to celebrate it, so I went alone. Time drags while you are waiting. I was sitting completely alone and inside me the thoughts consumed me, caused my hands to shake, then my stomach to turn and my chest to tighten. By the time the judge called us my head was cloudy and before I knew it the gavel was in the air about to strike, and my throat wanted to scream, “I’m not ready” but I stood there quietly as fear gripped me that all the years that I invested was over with the strike of his gavel. 2.2 seconds changed what felt like a lifetime of trying to make it work. 
When you’re alone, isolated from the world in y…