A great philosopher of our time once said,
Revenge is like peeing in your pants. Yeah, at first it feels warm and fuzzy but at the end, you only feel cold and wet. - Boss Baby
This isn't something people want to hear but making them pay won't help you heal. Don't get me wrong, I applaud those who seek justice. If its a case of sexual abuse you technically help by making the person who hurt you accountable to a justice system. In turn, protecting the next person that would've been on the after you. So please do not misunderstand this blog post.
I'm not concerned with the person who hurt you. I'm concerned with you, the person lugging around pain. Let me share a few stories.
Karyn lost her virginity at 19 to her high school sweetheart. After high school he thought it best to break up for the college years, you know... so they can explore and find themselves. Karyn can't forgive him, and cyberstalks his travels and tells anyone who will listen to how she was hurt by him. She's still single harping on the same story.
Crystal lost her virginity to her high school sweetheart. He did the same and she responded the same for a little while. One day she decided to let it go and forgive him for the heartache it caused. Today Crystal is happily married with a family of her own and can't stop talking about how much she loves her family.
Bella was eight years old when she was sexually abused. She was too scared to tell anyone. By the time she gained the courage to speak, too much time had passed and justice was sadly not an option for her. It made her angry and bitter till one day she faced the person who hurt her and told them she forgives them. She walked away free, with love in her heart, liberated from what gripped her into the bondage of depression.
Just a side note, the person who hurt Bella did end up paying but not by Bella's hand.
When she told me her story I couldn't help but think of Romans 12: 19
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.But here is the hardest part to grasp, the person who hurt you needs healing too. And just so it's clear, God loves them too.
You heard the popular saying, "hurt people hurt people". It's a vicious cycle, and if you have been hurt chances are you hurt others too. We just get so consumed with ourselves everyone else is justified collateral damage. But the truth is we sin and hurt people too and beg God to forgive us yet find it so hard to forgive others.
God was serious when he said Love your enemies. I know its not the popular opinion but God isn't concerned with the popularity he's concerned with your soul. Have you read Matthew 5 lately:
Pretty clear, and I know its easier said than done. After all, we are raised in a world where you're taught early to make people pay. But you're accountable for what you know. I know its a process, respect the process, give it the time, pray to God for strength. Because this is not impossible and it works. You want to heal, pray for your enemy and forgive them. It's freeing. I promise.
Just today I heard someone say,
some people love to be the victim and they don't even know they love it.
Do you love it?
Let's walk into 2020 without the baggage of revenge. God will handle it for you, don't worry.
-Art of me