Early March when the pandemic was just starting to show its ugly head, I went into full preparation mode. I tried to get as much as I could online but going to the store was my best option, once I started to get notices that my online orders were being delayed. The stores were still well stocked and a friend of mine was concerned that the elderly were not getting their supplies. With that said, we put out a message on what was needed and before we knew it, we were shopping and delivering supplies. I had my full time 9-5, my side hustle, my ministry projects, and now delivering supplies for the elderly. Then it happened, I woke up with a fever.
I remember looking up to the mirror that I write all my prayer requests on and read the note I made, “The virus will not touch my home” and here I was with a fever. I called out of work that morning and stayed home hoping it was anything else but the virus. Then the symptoms quickly progressed, and I found myself in the Norwalk drive-up Testing center, and shortly after, a positive test result.
Why God? I was doing your work. I prayed that the virus would not touch my home!
I wondered what I did wrong. I hear Pastors preaching from their pulpits,
"God got me covered, I will not get sick"
"COVID will not touch my home, I have work to do!"
"We will walk through COVID covered by the blood untouched"
Did I not have enough faith? One morning my breath was so shallow that I could hardly speak, and I was exhausted. I stayed off social media because the newsfeed would only feed me anxiety. I slept through the majority of it but when I could not sleep, I watched Bible studies, and there was one in particular called, “Miracles of Jesus” where Bianca Juarez Olthoff was in Israel standing right in front of Jesus tomb and she said,
She said it with tears welling up in her eyes and a shake in her voice that made my bones shake. I was disappointed that God did not answer my prayers the way I wanted. I again looked up at the writing on the mirror and saw Daniel in the Lion's Den, then the three young men, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego walking through the fire and surviving. I realized that experiencing God’s mercies day- to- day made me think I was invincible. Then I closed my eyes and thought about my complaint again and I heard God say in a somewhat humorous tone,
But did you die?
I thought Corona was going to destroy me, but God meant it for good. I learned a few things.
In the 1st chapter of the book of Mark, Jesus is visiting Simon's mother in law who is ill with fever, so he heals her. By that evening the reputation of Jesus is growing wild through the villages. He's a healer, so I can imagine the excitement of the people. From what scripture tells us... well let me just paste it below.
That evening after sunset the people brought to Jesus all the sick and demon-possessed. The whole town gathered at the door, and Jesus healed many who had various diseases. He also drove out many demons, but he would not let the demons speak because they knew who he was.
Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Simon and his companions went to look for him, and when they found him, they exclaimed: “Everyone is looking for you!”
Jesus replied, “Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also. That is why I have come.” – Mark 1, read it.
In my ignorance, my faith was as if I had God in my back pocket. Call on him for his blessings when I need him. That's not loving Him.
Will you love him if he doesn't heal you?
Will you love him if he doesn't respond to your suffering, the way you want?
Singles, if he doesn't give you a spouse will Jesus be enough?
Will you love Jesus while the storms of life hit you hard, or will you jump ship believing in yourself.
Yes, God saved Daniel from the Lion's mouth, but he still got accused and thrown into the Lion's den. Yes, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego survived the fire, but they got thrown in the fire. And the part that resonates the most with me about that story is that they said, even if God doesn't save us we will not bow. YO! They were willing to die for God. Are you?
If you are pulling out the "Jesus get out of jail free card", then read this next verse.
I Never Knew You
Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’- Matthew 7:21-23
I don't wish COVID on anyone, but I'm grateful for what I learned in that time, and how I was corrected. Jesus is worth living for. Find rest in Him.
Rest is where you hear his voice.
Rest is where you see the blessings you overlooked.
Rest is where you are recharged and rejuvenated.
It's not about what you want, it's about what you need to be more Christ-like. Trust him even when it doesn't make sense. It's not about you, it’s about Jesus.He died for you so you don't have to go to hell and get what you deserve. He didn't die for you so you can live a carefree life. This world is full of troubles, what he promises is peace in the midst of it. I had it, I had this peace that transcends understanding. I want you to have it too. Time is running out, don't waste it on things that don't matter.