I don’t want you to feel alone in your sentiment. So I want to share this story with you.
If I had to describe the feeling it was like all my friends and I were standing on this fertile ground and one by one each girl would look down at her feet and a big beautiful tulip sprouted right in front of her. Everyone had a tulip but me, and I didn’t know why.
I watered the ground around me with miracle grow, and everyone around me was like,
“don’t worry yours will bloom soon”
I know I wanted to be a big girl about it and be happy for them, but did you feel like I felt at the time; jealous? There were even times where I compared myself with the other woman saying, “I can take better care of the tulips than they can” “I would be a much better caregiver to these tulips, I even have plans that will make the tulips happy, I am not as selfish as that girl with ALL the tulips” . I’m actually giggling at my analogy of tulips. I love gardening, can you tell? Plus Bridgeport has an amazing display of tulips so it’s fresh on my mind.
I think you get the point, I was jealous and comparing myself as being the better option, why wasn’t anyone picking me? Well, at least I can look back and say I had a good self-esteem about myself.
Here is what happened:
I met a guy at church; he came to our church as a guest worship leader. Once the ladies found out he was single they quickly introduced us BUT he had just signed a record contract and was moving to Florida. All logic said, “It won’t work, you love Connecticut and he’s moving. Long distance is hard” but all my friends were in relationships and I wanted one too and the chemistry was there. So he left and before I knew it I was on a girl’s trip on my way to Miami.
Now when I say everything that could go wrong went wrong I am not kidding. They could’ve made a comedy out of that trip; “Wine Country” has nothing on this trip. First the shuttle dropped us off at the wrong side of the airport, and then we nearly lost our pants running because we had no time to put our belts on after the check point. (everyone saw my underwear that day, and my cousins thong) Then once on the plane, the plane was delayed, due to late luggage, our luggage. Go figure!
When we arrived in Miami, one of our suitcases was devoured by the conveyor belt. It looked like a bear shredded it. The airport did give us new luggage to make up for the attack on our luggage and we were on our way to the hotel room that was infested with ants. So we switched hotel rooms and finally fell asleep. The next morning we figured we relax by the pool side tanning and my cousin fainted because she had what I assumed was a heat stroke. Imagine all the girls dragging one girl by her arms to the nearest shower and forcing Gatorade down her throat. Did I mention she busted her lip and bruised her face when she fell? But that night was date night and I was not going to let all these “signs” tell me otherwise.
By night fall, I was dressed to impressed and ready to hit the town. He arrived and in all honesty he looked amazing. Tall, dark, handsome and a voice that could drop panties across the state, I mean “would lift your spirits and encourage your soul”. It was the perfect date night, flowers, dinner and a stroll on the beach which by the way he took a moment to lock eyes with me and sing a love ballet. It was so good people walking by stopped to applaud when he was done. Then we got back to the hotel and sealed the night with a kiss. Beautiful, colorful, it was a tulip.
Was the trip worth it?
The next morning he called me to cancel our breakfast plans because his producer called. He said we would meet for lunch, but lunch came and went and I waited. Dinner came and went I waited. He didn’t even call me, as a matter of fact I never heard from him again. He was alive as he was posting on social media. Then the water went in the hotel room and when it finally turned on it was brown and disgusting and we couldn’t even shower my depression away. To add to my misery my sister caught an infection and ended up with a fever and on our way home from beautiful Miami we ended up in the hospital where she had a full on staff infection. Talk about chasing the wrong path and paying consequences and dragging my family and friends into the consequences. Guess I found my tulip right?
I wasn’t waiting for a tulip that sprouts up and dies within the season. God planted a tree for me, that would flourish all seasons, but it takes time to grow. I was upset over tulips that are beautiful and so colorful, but quickly wither and die, yet I wanted it. Don’t get me wrong not all my girlfriends were with tulips, some were with trees. But for some reason our eyes focus on the tulips;
maybe because it answers the “now”, not “forever”.
Hold out for forever, it teaches patience that you will need in a marriage and its worth waiting for.
If you asked God for it, wait on it. Don't fall for the pressure trap of seasonal tulips.